Pretty Funny

So my mother-in-law forwarded me this e-mail and I thought I would post it. It's pretty funny!

TWENTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
10. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
11. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
12. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
13.Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
14. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
15. They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
16. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
17. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
18. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
19. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
20. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
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The funniest one was #15... ha, ha, ha... That is hysterical!!